Being and Doing

As leaders, we’ve been conditioned to work toward goals, to check items off our lists, and to show our value to our team or organization by proving our worth through decisive action. Our brains are wired to achieve goals and complete tasks; they even re-shape and optimize themselves when they have a specific goal set before them.  

However, relentless driving toward goals can make us short-sighted and can impair our judgment. We can make better decisions when we engage both sides of the polarity of being and doing.  

Many leaders have been rewarded throughout their careers for being doers. They’ve earned accolades and promotions for getting things done and have become well-known for being productive.  

Doing is obvious to us and to those around us as we focus on accomplishments, milestones, and team goals. When we’re immersed in doing, we can constantly measure progress. We can feel good that we’re taking initiative, meeting goals, and fulfilling our mission or the organization’s mission. We’re comfortable with doing because it’s measurable and because it gives us a sense of control over the world around us.  

Extreme doing looks impressive on a surface level. These are the people we admire for their extremely high performance and wonder how they’re able to do it all.  

However, in most cases, extreme doers are not balancing and the workload they place on themselves is not sustainable. Sometimes their doing is not driven by creativity or by a desire to innovate and lead.  

Instead, it can come from a place of fear or a lack of self-belief, as they believe their doing is what creates value or keeps them in control. Their actions have a diminishing return as their constant doing takes a toll on their physical and emotional wellbeing.  

We’re seeing more instances of burnout and mental illness than ever before, and we’re more at risk of lacking true innovation.   

Being is not something that is tangible or measured but is essential in balancing how we are showing up as leaders. Being is our ability to be in our moment to moment, to experience and be present.   

When we focus on being, we are able to step into greater possibilities. Doing may mean taking quick actions. Being opens us up to solving more complex problems through reflective thinking. Instead of jumping on the first solution because we’re driven to take action, we allow ourselves to fully access our knowledge, to be aware of lessons we’ve learned in the past, and to be more open to the perspectives of others.  

When we’re in a haze of doing, we can fall into the trap of being reactive because we’re processing so much information or because our plates are so full. In being, we can zoom out and make room for additional perspectives and ideas before making a decision. In this being state, real innovation can happen. 

Between the two descriptions above, it may sound like being is the ultimate best option. However, you can certainly lean too far into either side of the polarity.  

On the doing side, you may find yourself driving forward too hard, making decisions without reflecting or learning. You may find a solution quickly and decide to go with it, but does that mean the best, most innovative choice was made, or that you leaned into an option because it was available without fully considering and exploring other alternatives?  

On the being side, if you’re too into being, you miss opportunities to put your thoughts into action. Leaning too hard into being can cause you to miss deadlines while you’re deliberating.  

When you’re focused on looking for the best answer, you may fall behind or become passive. While we do need to invest time and resources into thinking and being, we also still have to get things done.  

And that can be a challenge. Why?  

Most leaders have been rewarded throughout their careers for focusing on the doing side of the polarity. They feel like they’re giving up a part of their doer identity by stepping back, and they may also worry that they could negatively impact their career if they don’t continue to be indispensable.  

What do organizations lose when leaders are in this state? They lose thoughtfulness. They lose the ability to be proactive. They lose their engagement as they begin to burn out from constant doing.  

I find that the most power comes in as we integrate these polarities.  

In an ideal balance of this polarity, we come from a place of presence.  

We extend ourselves by finding and using our authentic voice and making thoughtful contributions. We focus on being creative and proactive, and we reduce our potential for reactivity. We also work with purpose and mindfully keep ourselves from being hijacked by emotions or lower-priority tasks.  

When leaders step into conversation or collaboration while in a state of presence or being, they are able to listen more deeply and can create alignment that leads to powerful solutions and conscious change.   

When we integrate both being and doing, we can more effectively advocate and inquire, so that we find the best options/avenues for our action, then move forward. In addition, when we’re able to successfully integrate these two values, we build trust and alignment. What we say as leaders will resonate and our people will be ready to move forward alongside us, adding their strengths to our efforts.  

What can we do to put more energy into being and integrate these two values/poles? We can start by creating greater awareness, then establish new practices that make room for both being and doing in the ways we work and interact with the world.  

• Know thyself. Understand what may hijack you and what your defensive postures may be. When you’re in defensive mode, you’re less able to stay in a being state. Your brain is busy evaluating and judging the potential of others’ actions, instead of allowing you the space to receive information and manage it. If you find yourself going into defensive mode, there is no need to feel guilty. Just notice it and release it.  
• Spend time on the balcony. Dedicate time for self-appraisal and self-reflection.  What’s important to me?  How is this familiar?  Am I willing to let go of control?   
• Add benevolent reflection: What’s in the best interest of all (team/org/ecosystem)? 

• Practice mindfulness. This is a natural follow-up to knowing yourself better. When we know ourselves and are more aware of the ways we are feeling, we can also better evaluate the thought processes that go along with them. As we become more familiar with those patterns, we can start to manage them rather than be consumed by them. Being is not overthinking. When we overthink, it’s really another form of doing, as we drain ourselves of energy through these efforts.  
• Breathing exercises. Mindful breathing is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress. According to the Harvard Business Review, “It’s very difficult to talk your way out of strong emotions like stress, anxiety, or anger. Just think about how ineffective it is when a colleague tells you to “calm down” in a moment of extreme stress. When we are in a highly stressed state, our prefrontal cortex — the part of our brain responsible for rational thinking — is impaired, so logic seldom helps to regain control. This can make it hard to think straight or be emotionally intelligent with your team. But with breathing techniques, it is possible to gain some mastery over your mind.” When you use breathing techniques to manage stress and challenges, you soften the contraction in the body that takes you away from being/presence.  
• Integrate I work with leaders in my coaching sessions to co-create practices that connect being and doing. For example, if my clients anticipate conflict in a meeting, we work together to practice grounding (noticing contact points of your feet on the floor, seat in the chair, etc.), and taking deeper breaths.  These micro-moves can be incredibly powerful and don’t take extra time away from the doing. 

Our essential being is the foundation from which we operate.  Realizing that we’re both our essential nature as humans and have our voice, our talents and connections in our showing up.  The more we show up and operate from this place, the more we realize our power, our gifts, contributions and can leave a legacy of experiences with everyone we lead and come in contact with.